white shooting stars
by indie misery
Summary: after all, you're the master of disguise. / for the june one-shot contest; 3A


**For the june oneshot contest with pairing/prompt 3A; enjoy!**

**I don't own Clique characters or the Grace Potter and the Nocturnals lyrics(:**

.June.

You sit nonchalantly on your rocky driveway, carelessly drawing shooting stars in white chalk. Grace Potter lyrics load your ears, which scares you. You shouldn't be listening to her, nor should you be watching Grease over and over, or wear purple candy pajamas when you're alone. Because it doesn't work like that.

The world was big in your eyes. You would look up and see the sky, but it didn't seem close. It felt like millions of miles away, past the stars and moon.

_("I lit a fire with the love you left behind")_

Your brown hair flips into your eyes, blocking your eyesight for a couple seconds. When you return to reality, a curious, raven haired boy leans towards your artistic shooting stars and smirking.

Slightly timid, you laugh.

"Cam Fisher. What are you doing here?"

His head seems abnormally large, but once your boring puce eyes (which don't compare to his beautiful opposite color ones) adjust to your new surroundings, you realize he's only inspecting you. But his head seems too close for comfort.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Josh. Where've you been?" he asks with a beam, backing up. You sigh a breath of relief.

You don't like this conversation, Cam has always made you nervous.

"Here and there. Why do you care, Fisher?"

"Because you're a horrible drawer and need help," he sneers at your white shooting stars, "and because I missed you."

_("It burned wild and crept up the mountain sides")_

A couple hours later, the two of you are ambling along the beach boardwalk, gorging _two-toned snow-cones._ You make sure not to come close to the ocean, which Cam observes you particularly for.

"Why are you avoiding the ocean?" he finally asks.

Your eyes flicker towards the vast blue waves and shrug. "I don't like it. It's too vast, like the world and the sky."

Cam's eyes light up, as he found another one of your weaknesses. "You want to go in?"

Quickly, you shake your head silently.

"You have to face the fear sometime, Josh."

_("I followed your ashes into outer space")_

You and Cam sit in your beach house basement at the very end of the month.

"I'm beating your ass right now." He smirks, gesturing towards their intense game of Mario Kart.

You laugh. "Not for long, Fisher." as you smoothly pass his Yoshi race car with your Toad bike.

You end up winning, and as competitive Cam is, he doesn't mind. He shimmies closer to you, where you're sitting in front of the couch until you're knee to knee.

His eyes are mesmerizing, and you find yourself suddenly lost in the blue and green gem pools. He doesn't move either, even though your faces are centimeters from each other. Just as your lips are about to touch, the moment is gone.

Pulling away, you blush and prepare the Wii for an additional game.

"Another round?"

(_"I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place")_

_._July.

Staring out the porch window, you see Cam wandering near the shore, his hands stuffed in his short pockets.

You're about to go say hi, but the ocean is creeping up the shoreline, so you back away.

Before you can drive away from the ocean, he spots you from the window and excitedly motions you over. You can't help but notice how good he looks. His always barefoot feet, Versace swim shorts and bare chest draws you, even though you don't want it too. He shaggy black hair is shook into his distinct eyes and he's surrounded by _fireflies_, which illuminate him in the dark light.

You have no choice but join him and the sea.

_(I can't look at the stars, they make me wonder where you are")_

The two of you lie on your backs on the sand, Cam on the ocean side and you closer to the boardwalk. Space spreads miles around you, like the world and sky and sea. The large unknown frightens you.

"Hey Cam?" you find yourself asking, before you know what you're doing.

"Yeah?" his voice seems almost hopeful as his body faces you.

"I like you." you blurt out. Minutes pass and you find your eyes closed.

And your eyes open. Cam smiles from next to you on your spots in the sand. His face is close to yours again. Your rough hand is enveloped in his, and he blushes at you.

_Did Cam Fisher just blush?_

"I like you too," he says, "we should kiss again more often."

Suddenly the world doesn't seem so big, the sky doesn't seem so vast, and the ocean doesn't seem so immense.

Not now that you have someone else to face it with you.

_("Stars, up on heaven's boulevard")_

Your parents are unsuspecting of your secret identity. You know that they'd freak if they found out, because they thought they raised the perfect son. A manly, smart, sport playing guy who was the boyfriend to a girl. Not a boy.

So you keep Cam a secret. After all, you're the master of disguise.

After a night with him on the boardwalk, you return home hoping to be stealthy.

"Josh?" you hear your dad call from the foyer. Squeezing your eyes, you almost earned yourself a sneaky getaway.

Not quite.

"Yeah?" you call out, not wanting him to see the love struck look still on your face.

"How was your day?" he asks, his manly face intimidating and you have a feeling he suspects something.

You flush, "Fine."

And he lets it go, leaving you thanking your lucky stars. Backing slowly towards your bedroom, it hits you.

You couldn't keep this a secret. You couldn't tell your parents. Being gay was wrong, at least according to everyone else. You didn't know why, or how, but it was, and you couldn't change that. The people were the world, and the world was much bigger than you. You and Cam were small against everyone else, and they were going to judge you.

You couldn't change that.

Your bedroom door slams shut in frustration. Sliding against the back of it, your fists meet your eyes and rub them with confusion and anger and sadness.

Earth is 131,479,78.54 feet all the way around. Your 6 foot figure sits against the white door of your bedroom, a speck from outer space, alone.

_("And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far")_

"Have you ever thought about going into the ocean?" Cam's ringing voice brings you back to reality, but your body squeezes up in fear at the thought.

"No," you say, "and I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"We went through his last month, remember?" you chuckle, "I just don't like it."

"It's just…" he starts, trailing off. You glimpse down at his hand in yours, and suddenly nothing else seems to matter. The world fuzzes, except his face and eyes and hand and.. Him.

"Just what?"

"I wanna be with you for your first time going in. Something to remember me by." he admits, blushing at the thought.

Half smiling at his kindness, but frowning at the idea of facing the sea, you pause.

"Even if I don't try it with you, I'll still remember you. I won't even need to remember you, because I'll still be with you." Your lips are suddenly salty and dry, and so is everything else.

Cam is silent.

"Right?" he stutter out.

"Of course," he replies, his silence being the good. You're distracted by his lips on yours, and again nothing else matters. Not your dad, not what your friends think, not what the people and the world think.

Its just you and him, and the everything else is under you.

_("So I, I can't look at the stars.")_

.August.

You respond to the light knocking on your bedroom door with silence.

"Hey Josh?" you hear, "You okay?". Cam's voice is filled with genuine consideration, which is a surprise. He's normally sarcastic and witty, unlike now.

"What?" your muffled reply is barely audible through the fluffy pillow pressed up against your mouth, but he hears anyway and enters your room. You're facing the door, face forced on your pillow, your room abnormally clean.

Not looking up, you sense as Cam flops next to you.

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

"I don't know. Everything. Nothing."

"Tell me about it." he persists. You want to be annoyed, but you can't. Instead you love him for caring.

"It's just…" you sigh, flipping onto your back and staring at the ceiling, "This can't work."

His vibrant eyes turn dull and depressed. "It can't? Or you don't want to?"

"If it got out, I don't know what would happen. My family would hate me, and you. My friends would hate me. All the girls would avoid me. I don't…."

He whispers three words in your ear, changing your whole perspective on everything. _"You're my only,"_ he says, and suddenly, again, it doesn't matter anymore.

_("All those times we looked out at the sky")_

The beach daunts you again, so you set your beach chair as far away from it as possible. Even still, though, you despise watching the happy couples, old grandparents, and little toddlers frolicking and building sand castles near the shore. How could they stand it? You felt as though any second the sea could sweep you off your feet and swallow your up.

You sit, gazing at the kids playing for what seems like ages, but your serenity is stopped abruptly by a sandy blond haired four year old.

"Why aren't you swimming?" he asked, hitching up his Monsters Inc swim boxers up to his bellybutton.

"I don't like swimming." you reply simply. The little boy's eyes nearly bug out of his head.

"But how do you not like swimming?! Everyone loves to swim!"

"I don't know," you sigh, leaning back in your seat in defeat.

_("Looking out so far it felt like we could fly")_

_("Now I'm all alone in the dark of night")_

You and Cam sit on your couch, the whopping window behind you showcasing billions of stars. You're not kissing, just lying next to each other.

"Josh?" he asks.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." he murmurs, looking over at you. Before you can return the words, the door opens and your all so big dad strolls in, raising his eyebrows at the suspicious sight in front of him. Cam's lying near the crook of the couch with your head on his chest, which to your father doesn't look like a friendship.

The two of you jump up and spread far apart, fear in your eyes. The exaggeration of the intensity of the moment is large, but it feels real. Cam soon dashes out your front beach house door, and you're left with the judging father.

"What was that?" he asks, his voice getting more tenacious and he gets more in your face with every word.

"Nothi-" you start, but are stopped by his sharp hand against your cheek, and you run away him. Run away from the house, the world, and go where you're always welcomed. Cam's.

_("The moon is shining but I can't see the light")_

"You sure you're ready?" Cam asks, his fingers intertwined with yours.

"Definitely" you declare and stare out at the immensity in front of you. Your cheeks are still swollen from the incident a few days ago, but you let yourself avoid your father and come to what you wanted. You and Cam could face the world together.

Thousands of miles of profound sea stares back, taunting you, yet you stand tall and sturdy this time.

The ocean was the fear, the judge, the jury, the court. It represented what you faced, and only when you were ready could you tackle it all.

"Six billion people," Cam utters to you, the waves crashing at your feet, "six billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one."

_(And I can't look at the stars")_

**If you didn't get that last reference, it was from One Tree Hill (from 3x01)**

**(:**

**-lily**


End file.
